


Sex ed

by spidereye



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-29
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 17:58:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5100248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidereye/pseuds/spidereye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naruto needs to know the facts of life but Iruka has reservations</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex ed

**Author's Note:**

> Still don't own Naruto. Drat

When a ninja reaches about sixteen the rules say that they have to learn about the technicalities of the human reproductive system in other word a lecture on sex education held by a qualified teacher and not just by some random pervert.

Lectures were held once every two months at the academy by Iruka in accordance to the strict guild lines made by the council to promote and enhance the blood lines and the population of strong ninjas in the village.

Iruka looked around the lecture hall at the assembled students frowning as He looked at the back of the hall to see a slightly unwelcome sight. Silver hair glinted under the lights as an all to familiar book was moved down and an eye winked at the instructor. About to demand an explanation as to why the second greatest pervert in the village was there (Guess who the first is). The door burst open and to his horror a blond haired and blue eyed angel came barging though,

“Sorry I am late Iruka Sensai, the Teme told me to wait for him and he spent ages doing his hair.”

Said Teme slid in to the lecture hall smirking slightly and made his way to an empty seat ignoring the squeals and speculations of their chances with him sleeping with them after this class from the girls already present. 

Iruka frowned and grabbed the arm of the young blond,

“Naruto what are you doing here? This class is not for you. You are to young to know about this topic.”

Naruto looked confused,

“But Iruka Sensai I had my sixteenth birthday last month don't you remember?  
You made me the birthday cake and everything.”

Iruka crossed his arms and glared at his precious little boy,

“I don't care how old you are. I am not going to allow you to be corrupted by these types of things. You are still to innocent to be thinking about nasty things.”

Naruto's eyes widened,

“But Iruka Sensai.....”

“Not another word from you Naruto. I will not have your mind corrupted at such a young age.”

Naruto pouted cutely at his former teacher,

“Kiba is two weeks younger than me and He is allowed to be here.”

Iruka glared at the for mentioned dog lover as if it were his fault Naruto was here. Kiba paled and shrank back in his seat fearing for his life. Iruka turned towards the door and began to drag the poor blond towards it only to be blocked by Kakashi,

“Now Iruka that is enough. Naruto is of the right age never mind how much you wish he was not. The rules state that he has to have this lecture and by a qualified teacher. But if you are unwilling to do it I as his current teacher will have no choice but to show him personally the ins and outs of sex.” 

At these words a growl came from the students area who were already seated and Kakashi could feel the heat of four eyes promising death if he went to far as to carry out his threat.

Kakashi did not need to turn round to see Sasuke's eyes boring in to the back of his head promising death. Iruka's own eyes held a similar look in them and Kakashi felt the sweat drops sliding down his back.

“Fine Naruto go a take a seat. But if I find you doing any of these things in the future I will never buy you ramen again and you will be grounded for ever understood.”

Naruto nodded and scuttled to a seat next to Sasuke who just 'hned' and took the blond's hand in his own much to the displeasure of the girl's who wanted to sit next to raven and have him hold their hands.

Kakashi teleported back to his seat and took out his book again. Iruka took his place on the palladium at the front of the class. Iruka looked in despair at the blond snuggled up to his best friend. He would not allow his little Naruto's innocence to be ruined by a bunch of stupid rules even if he had to put his job on the line.

“ When a men and a women get together and become married there are certain things you need to be aware of if you are going to have children.”

Iruka paused then thinking hard as the class leaned in to listen to the start of the juicy lecture. Of course all of them already knew all about the subject some of them already had some experience with the practical side of the lecture but it was fun to listen to and they might pick up a few new things. 

“ New babies are made in heaven and if a couple want a baby they have to summon a stork to bring the baby to them. First of all both of the couple have to really want a baby. So they have to write a letter to the guardian angel of babies asking for the child.”

The class was silent except for Kakashi who had tears streaming down his mask trying to suppress the laughter at the most ridiculous tale Iruka was telling them. Iruka struggled on with his explanation,

“ They have to put the letter in the cabbage patch for the storks to find and deliver. When the letter is delivered the angel selects the best baby for you and the stork delivers it in a basket to your door and that is how you get a baby.”

Naruto shyly raised a hand,

“You say a man and a woman what do you do when two men want a baby?”

Iruka's ears went pink and He stuttered a few times,

“Two men can not have children Naruto. The guardian angel does not like it.”

Naruto's mouth made a silent O,

“But Iruka, when I walked by your house the other day I saw you and Kakashi naked and he was on top of you and You were telling him to give you his baby makers. What does that mean?”

The whole class looked gob smacked for a second then collapsed howling with laughter. Kakashi was in hysterics while Iruka's face rivalled that of the sun at Naruto's so innocent remark. Finally every one calmed down.

Naruto looked pityingly at his teacher,

“ Iruka Sensai you do realise that Sasuke and I have been going out for over two years now and know exactly how babies are made. This thing with the stork is rubbish. I know exactly where babies come from.”

Iruka looked at his sweet, dear, not so innocent blond and wondered where he failed. Kakashi's voice came from the back of the class room with a hint of laughter,

“Go on Naruto tell us exactly where babies come from and how they are made.”

Naruto turned around in Sasuke's lap where he had been sitting for half of the lecture. He smiled sadly at his teacher,

“Why Kakashi every one knows that babies come from the orphanage where I grew up, if some one wants them of course.”

There was not much laughter after that.


End file.
